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Love
Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of
strong affection or profound oneness.[1] The meaning of love varies relative
to context. Romantic love is seen as an ineffable feeling of intense
attraction shared in passionate or intimate attraction and intimate
interpersonal and sexual relationships.[2] Though often linked to personal
relations, love is often given a wider connection, a love of humanity, of
nature, with life itself, or a oneness with the universe, a universal love
or karma. Love can also be construed as Platonic love,[3] religious love,[4]
familial love, and, more casually, great affection for anything considered
strongly pleasurable, desirable, or preferred, to include activities and
foods.[5][2] This diverse range of meanings in the singular word love is
often contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for love, reflecting the
concept's depth, versatility, and complexity.
Definitions
The definition of love is the subject of considerable debate, enduring
speculation and thoughtful introspection. The difficulty of finding a
universal definition for love is typically tackled by classifying it into
types, such as passionate love, romantic love, and committed love. These
types of love can often be generalized into a level of sexual attraction. In
common use, love has two primary meanings, the first being an indication of
adoration for another person or thing, and the second being a state of
relational status. Love is an act of identifying with a person or thing,
capable of even including oneself (cf. narcissism). Dictionaries tend to
define love as deep affection or fondness.[1] In colloquial use, according
to polled opinion, the most favored definitions of love involve altruism,
selflessness, friendship, union, family, and bonding or connecting with
another.[6]
Thomas Jay Oord has defined love in various scholarly publications as acting
intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote
overall well-being. Oord means for his definition to be sufficient for
research in ethics, religion, and science.
The different aspects of love can be roughly illustrated by comparing their
corollaries and opposites. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a
stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral
apathy); as a less sexual and more mutual and "pure" form of romantic
attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal
relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with
friendship, although other connotations of love may be applied to close
friendships as well.
The very existence of love is sometimes subject to debate. Some
categorically reject the notion as false or meaningless. Others call it a
recently-invented abstraction, sometimes dating the "invention" to courtly
Europe during or after the Middle Ages. Others maintain that love really
exists, and is not an abstraction, but is undefinable, being essentially
spiritual or metaphysical in nature. Some psychologists maintain that love
is the action of lending one's "boundary" or "self-esteem" to another.
Others attempt to define love by applying the definition to everyday life.
Cultural differences make any universal definition of love difficult to
establish. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the
love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of
food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, love
for the respect of others, etc. Different people place varying degrees of
importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an
abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. Because of the
complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced
to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs
regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to The Beatles' "All you
need is love".
The neutrality or factuality of this article or section may be compromised
by weasel words.
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Scientific views
Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation
on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology
has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of
evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience,
and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of
love.
Biology of love
Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like
hunger or thirst. Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love,
divides the experience of love into three partly-overlapping stages: lust,
attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others, romantic
attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating, and attachment
involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and
involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and
estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months.
Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific
candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an
individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as
people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of
chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin,
which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center
and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of
appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has
indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three
years.[7]
Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third
stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the
bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even
decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and
children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It
has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin
than short-term relationships have.[7]
In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein
molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people
first fall in love, but these levels return to as they were after one year.
Specifically, four neurotrophin levels, i.e. NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4, of
58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in a
control group who were either single or already engaged in a long-term
relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher
in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[8]
Psychology of love
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist
Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love
has three different components: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy
is a form by which two people can share secrets and various details of their
personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love
affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the
relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love
is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as
well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela to further refine
the model by separating Passion into two independents components: Erotic
Passion and Romantic Passion.
Following developments in electrical theories, such as Coulomb's law, which
showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life
were developed, such as "opposites attract". Over the last century, research
on the nature of human mating, such as in evolutionary psychology, agree
that pairs unite or attract to each other owing to a combination of
opposites attract, e.g. people with dissimilar immune systems tend to
attract, and likes attract, such as similarities of personality, character,
views, etc.[9] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been
developed described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and or affinities.
Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the
altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of
Scott Peck, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the
definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of
the"'concern for the spiritual growth of another", and simple
narcissism.[10] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
Philosophical views
People, throughout history, have often considered phenomena such as "love at
first sight" or "instant friendships" to be the result of an uncontrollable
force of attraction or affinity.[11] One of the first to theorize in this
direction was the Greek philosopher Empedocles, who in the 4th century BC
argued for the existence of two forces, love (philia) and strife (neikos),
which were used to account for the causes of motion in the universe. These
two forces were said to intermingle with the classical elements, i.e.,
earth, water, air, and fire, in such a manner that love served as the
binding power linking the various parts of existence harmoniously together.
Later, Plato interpreted Empedocles' two agents as attraction and repulsion,
stating that their operation is conceived in an alternate sequence.[12] From
these arguments, Plato originated the concept of "likes attract", e.g.,
earth is attracted to earth, water to water, and fire to fire. In modern
terms this is often phrased in terms of "birds of a feather flock together".
Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value", as
opposed to relative value. Thomas Jay Oord defines love as acting
intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote
overall well-being. Oord means for his definition to be adequate for
religion, philosophy, and the sciences. Robert A. Heinlein, one of the most
prolific science fiction writers of the 20th century, defined love in his
novel Stranger in a Strange Land as the point of emotional connection which
leads to the happiness of another being essential to one's own well being.
This definition ignores the ideas of religion and science and instead
focuses on the meaning of love as it relates to the individual.
Also, an ancient proverb states that love is a high form of tolerance. This
view is one that many philosophers and scholars have researched, and is
widely accepted.
Religious views
Love in early religions was a mixture of ecstatic devotion and ritualized
obligation to idealized natural forces (pagan polytheism). Later religions
shifted emphasis towards single abstractly-oriented objects like God, law,
church and state (formalized monotheism). A third view, pantheism,
recognizes a state or truth distinct from (and often antagonistic to) the
idea that there is a difference between the worshiping subject and the
worshiped object. Love is reality, of which we, moving through time,
imperfectly interpret ourselves as an isolated part.
The Bible speaks of love as a set of attitudes and actions that are far
broader than the concept of love as an emotional attachment. Love is seen as
a set of behaviors that humankind is encouraged to act out. One is
encouraged not just to love one's partner, or even one's friends but also to
love one's enemies. The Bible describes this type of active love in 1
Corinthians 13:4-8:
“ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres. Love never fails. ”
Romantic love is also present in the Bible, particularly the Song of Songs.
Traditionally, this book has been interpreted allegorically as a picture of
God's love for Israel and the Church. When taken naturally, we see a picture
of ideal human marriage:[13]
“ Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is
as strong as death, its jealously unyielding as the grave. It burns like a
blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers
cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for
love, it would be utterly scorned. ”
The passage dodi li v'ani lo, i.e. "my beloved is mine and I am my beloved",
from Song of Songs 2:16, is an example of a biblical quote commonly engraved
on wedding bands.
The Bible states love is a characteristic of God. I John 4:8 states "God is
Love". In essence, God is the epitomy of love - in action and relation. It
is God that first loved mankind and desired a relationship. (John 3:16-17)
Love is the underlying drive in most people. The search for love seems
endless within the human race, throughout the ages. The Bible defines God as
being the completeness of love. Love, as being defined by Him, is
demonstrated in his character and personality. Another way of defining this
type of love is "godly love", a love shown through the example of Christ's
sacrifice on the cross. However, this "sacrificial" love can also be
expressed by humans, although imperfectly. For example, the love of a mother
for her child. Many mothers would sacrifice anything for their children. It
is this type of love that the Bible teaches us to follow and to share with
one another. Love, in the end, is truly a sacrifice, ultimately expressed in
the crucifixion of Jesus as described in the New Testament. C.S. Lewis
discusses Christian ideas about love in his book The Four Loves
Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, defines Love as one of 7
synonyms for God. This indicates that Deity is more than a being that has
benevolent concerns for mankind, but rather that God is Love itself. Love is
also synonymous with Principle, Mind, Soul, Spirit, Life, and Truth and
indicate the depth and wholeness of Love.
In Aramaic, the language that Jesus spoke, there are six words for
Unconditional Love (Kenoota, Khooba, Makikh, Abilii, Rukha and Dadcean
Libhoun) which are untranslatable and are all translated as the one word
“Love” in the English Bible. They are explained here
The Bhagavad Gita, a Hindu scripture, helps devotees to see that love
conquers all. It says, "Sattva—pure, luminous, and free from sorrow—binds us
to happiness and wisdom" (Number 6). Sattva, translated as purity, helps one
to see that love evolves from selflessness.
Cultural views
Although there exist numerous cross-cultural unified similarities as to the
nature and definition of love, as in there being a thread of commitment,
tenderness, and passion common to all human existence, there are
differences.
This section stub requires expansion.
Notes
1. ^ a b Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster
Collegiate Dictionary (2000).
2. ^ a b http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/love
3. ^ Kristeller, Paul Oskar (1980). Renaissance Thought and the Arts:
collected essays. Princeton University. ISBN 0691020108.
4. ^ Mascaró, Juan (2003). The Bhagavad Gita. Penguin Classics. ISBN
0140449183. (J. Mascaró translator)
5. ^ Casual application of the word love also includes idiomatic expressions
and uses with differing connotations. For example, as a sardonic expression
of disapproval: "I just love how politicians always make empty promises."
6. ^ '04 Poll of 250 Chicagoans – Institute of Human Thermodynamics
(Chicago)
7. ^ a b Winston, Robert (2004). Human. Smithsonian Institution.
8. ^ Emanuele, E. Polliti, P, Bianchi, M. Minoretti, P. Bertona, M., &
Geroldi, D. (2005). “Raised plasma nerve growth factor levels associated
with early-stage romantic love.” Abstract. Psychoneuroendocrinology, Nov.
09.
9. ^ Berscheid, Ellen; Walster, Elaine, H. (1969). Interpersonal Attraction.
Addison-Wesley Publishing Co.. CCCN 69-17443.
10. ^ Peck, Scott (1978). The Road Less Traveled. Simon & Schuster. ISBN
0-671-25067-1.
11. ^ Fisher, Helen (2004). Why We Love – the Nature and Chemistry of
Romantic Love. Henry Holt and Company. ISBN 0-8050-6913-5.
12. ^ Jammer, Max (1956). Concepts of Force. Dover Publications, Inc.. ISBN
0-486-40689-X.
13. ^ Bible, 8:6-7, NIV.
References
* Roger Allen, Hillar Kilpatrick, and Ed de Moor, eds. Love and Sexuality in
Modern Arabic Literature. London: Saqi Books, 1995.
* Shadi Bartsch and Thomas Bartscherer, eds. Erotikon: Essays on Eros,
Ancient and Modern. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005.
* Mary Baker Eddy, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. 2006
* Helen Fisher. Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
* Gabriele Froböse, Rolf Froböse, Michael Gross (Translator): Lust and Love:
Is it more than Chemistry? Publisher: Royal Society of Chemistry, ISBN
0-85404-867-7, (2006).
* Johnson, P (2005) 'Love, Heterosexuality and Society'. Routledge: London.
* Thomas Jay Oord, Science of Love: The Wisdom of Well-Being. Philadelphia:
Templeton Foundation Press, 2004.
* R. J. Sternberg. A triangular theory of love. 1986. Psychological Review,
93, 119–135
* R. J. Sternberg. Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of
theories. 1987. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331–345
* Sternberg, Robert (1998). Cupid's Arrow - the Course of Love through Time.
Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-47893-6.
* Dorothy Tennov. Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New
York: Stein and Day, 1979. ISBN 0-8128-6134-5
* Dorothy Tennov. A Scientist Looks at Romantic Love and Calls It "Limerence":
The Collected Works of Dorothy Tennov. Greenwich, CT: The Great American
Publishing Society (GRAMPS), [1]
* Wood, Wood and Boyd. The World of Psychology. 5th edition. 2005. Pearson
Education, 402–403
* Jones, Del. "One of USA's Exports: Love, American Style" USA Today:
February, 14, 2006.
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